Do you have a “Space Between”?
Have you ever felt the pang of regret after you said or did something in anger, wishing you could just “un-say” it or magically turn back the clock and erase the offending moment. I have a few suggestions that may help.
Anger shatters our spiritual calm. Some of us show anger in loud bursts, others quietly brood. Sometimes we feel angry inside but we still show the world a happy face, however when anger finds it way out it often expresses itself in ways that end up hurting ourselves and other people.
How do we deal with expressing our naturally occurring justified anger? I try to use the “space between” maneuver.
The “space between” is that mindful pause we mindfully use to separate the angry thought or feeling from our responding action. We must learn to notice our feelings before they reach the explosion point. In that mental space we can choose ways to express ourselves in a healthy manner.
For me examples of the “space between” include:
1. A deep breath and a relaxing exhale. Maybe 2-3 deep breathes.
2. Counting to ten.
3. A one minute pause.
4. “I’ll get back to you about that.”
5. Sleep on it.
Maybe you can develop a personal strategy to implement the mindful “space between” your thoughts and the following actions. Practice makes progress. Progress is good.