Are you burying anger?
How do you feel when someone tells you what to do? How do you feel when someone imposes their will on you? How do you feel when someone forces their beliefs on you?
Often times it angers us when someone else tells us what to do. After we have been repeatedly told we “should” or “shouldn’t” do something we may decide it is easiest to “roll over”, to stop fighting, or to give up and comply with the directive simply to end the confrontation. We may bury or ignore our angry feelings. In this case we may remain angry without even realizing it. Such hidden anger can leave us stressed, irritable and anxious. We may “act outwardly” against unsuspecting people who innocently wander into our life or “act inwardly” with self sabotaging behavior.
If someone makes me anger, it is always important that I consciously acknowledge that feeling to myself. It’s important that I experience the angry feeling. I try to separate the comment or action from the person who made the comment or committed the action. I am not angry at the person, it is simply their opinion, what bothers me is their action of being judgmental. I find it troubling when I see or experience other people being judgmental.
There are two ways I try approach this situation.
1. If I truly believe that my personal space, physical or spiritual, has been violated, it is not effective to get into a battle of egos, but instead it is important to express my feelings in a healthy manner without placing blame. A healthy option may be to say, “your comment makes me angry”, thereby claiming anger as our honest feeling and separating the comment from the person who spoke the comment, and then offer to “agree to disagree”. To treat each other’s opinion with respect and without judgment.
2. If the first approach doesn’t work, and the other person insists on passing judgment on our behavior, it may simply be best to avoid further confrontation and step away, let it go, and stop wasting your spiritual energy. Yes we may be right, but we are also creating a situation that mires us in negative thoughts that distracts us from a peaceful day. Even if we are justified, it doesn’t matter. If we are oversensitive, and we take a self righteous position, our spirituality is compromised.
Sometimes it’s better to be happy than right.
This is a good time to experience a Personal Pause.