Are you always happy? If you can say yes to that, WOW, that’s great. What a gift. I’m not there yet.
I believe it is healthy to recognize and honor our feelings. Feelings are emotional messages. The message may have no basis of fact, but they still exist. We can address our feelings or ignore them. We can let them fester or let them go. How we approach and react to those feelings will go a long way to determine our peace of mind.
Anger is a strong feeling. Are you ever angry?
At times, we all get angry. If we hold anger inside us because we think it’s wrong to feel angry, it builds, it grows, it expands like a balloon ready to burst. If we don’t have the skill or courage to release anger in a healthy manner, we can get depressed, or even physically ill. When we give ourselves permission to feel anger, we are better able to get rid of it in a healthy way so we can better get in touch with the feelings that caused it. When we recognize our anger for what it is, simply one feeling among many, it loses its significance, and we can prevent it from consuming us.
Indira Ghandi said, “You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. When we let go of our anger we can honestly embrace each other with open arms.”
Anger is a form of resentment toward a person or circumstance. If I find myself angry at a person or as the result of a circumstance, I try to separate that person or event from the reason for my anger. Maybe I’m angry at someone because they revealed a trusted secret, I try to channel my feelings away from the person and toward the “action of gossiping”. If I am angry at my wife because she made social plans without my consent, I try to direct my attention towards “my need to control” rather than towards a person I love who may have simply made an impulsive decision. If I am angry because the car in front of me is driving too slow, I try to direct my attention toward my inability to be patient and accept things I can not change, rather than towards a person who may lack confidence in their driving skills.
Are you carrying around any anger which could be re-channeled or released today? For me, it works best if I can find a person I trust, someone who will listen to me with acceptance and without judgement and maybe offer insight or wisdom. For me, talking about my feelings is often uncomfortable, but it is the best way to release and dissipate anger in a healthy manner. And on the flip side, can you be such an accepting and non-judgmental confidant?
Experience a personal pause.